I attended a Mass as part of a 40 Hours Devotion tonight, followed by a procession, benediction, and formal dinner. As my wife was caring for our younger two recovering from illness, I was there with only my older two children.
It so happened that we were seated at a table with just two other people: an older woman and her seven-year-old grandson. The woman introduced herself as Mrs. Rogers.
About halfway through the conversation, she shared that her husband had divorced her (as far as the state is concerned) years ago and she was living a life of prayer to get him to Heaven. When he initiated an annulment process, the diocesan tribunal gave it to him, arguing that the mere fact of him seeking a divorce meant the marriage was never valid. Mrs. Rogers was told “You need to move on with your life” and “Don’t you want to be happy?”
On the recommendation of her spiritual advisor, she quoted Bishop Fulton Sheen to the canon lawyer, to the effect that she made a commitment and would remain committed to getting him to Heaven whether or not he stayed true to his vows. The canon lawyer told her: “You need help.”
She had no advocate except Cardinal Burke, who forwarded her case to the Apostolic Signatura, informed her of her right to appeal, and alluded to her on EWTN when he reminded viewers of the women and children damaged by a no-fault-divorce culture. Rome upheld her appeal, so her marriage remains.
The conversation turned to her niece, V, who recently left a Benedictine convent. She was cloistered for five years but finally could not accept the constant pressure to be vaccinated for covid (she went to an appointment out of obedience, and the needle broke) and the attacks she endured for not voting for Biden. She is starting over in the world, out of her cloistered convent and wearing street clothes for the first time in five years.
There are certainly strands of pharisaism among traditionalists. That is to say, people who use their knowledge of tradition and Catholic teaching to gain power over others, emotionally, financially, or otherwise.
But from what I’ve seen, most people just want the support of their spiritual leaders to live lives of fidelity to the Church as handed down in the Church’s theological and moral teaching as well as sacred liturgy.
Instead, they are treated with contempt, while their abusers are shown compassion and given everything they ask for. When the abused dare to speak up, they are told that they are fed the false dichotomy of accompaniment (that is to say, enablement of sinful lifestyles) vs rigidity and told to embrace accompaniment.
Gentleness toward sinners does not require annihilating Church moral teaching. Saint John Chrysostom, who was himself exiled for upholding the truth, captured this beautifully in his Homily 29 on Matthew’s Gospel:
Wherefore groan, bewail, for the calamity indeed deserves tears. And the wounded man- again, nothing can so heal him as gentleness: gentleness, I say, which is mightier than any force.
Who is accompanying those widowed by divorce, who are told that their marriage never existed, their vows were invalid, their vocation is a lie? Or the children on places like Anonymous Us, scarred by the lack of a mother and/or father, or often horrified that their life began in a lab and was bought and paid for?
Meanwhile, what is done to save the souls of the abusers?
“If any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8
Still, we can have hope (and holy fear) in God’s promises given in Scripture.
Your princes are rebels and companions of thieves. Every one loves a bribe and runs after gifts. They do not defend the fatherless, and the widow's cause does not come to them. Therefore the Lord says, the LORD of hosts, the Mighty One of Israel: "Ah, I will vent my wrath on my enemies, and avenge myself on my foes. I will turn my hand against you and will smelt away your dross as with lye and remove all your alloy. And I will restore your judges as at the first, and your counselors as at the beginning. Afterward you shall be called the city of righteousness, the faithful city." Isaiah 1:23-26
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