Aging as Accumulated Damage

 

In my kids’ favorite book series, a young heroine seeking help from a legendary warrior is warned that the warrior may be stuck in the form of a beast. When the heroine asks: “She’s lived a long time, is there any chance she has mastered her condition by now” she is told: “You are new to life. For most of us, a long life simply provides more time to accumulate damage.” 

This is why I have always loved children’s books and am comfortable reading them as an adult. Dumbledore from Harry Potter remarks that people have a knack of wanting precisely the things that are worst for them. Narnia’s tragic exposure of Susan’s faults and those of the dwarves in The Last Battle strike a chord. Tom Sawyer provides witty truths about our weakness to reverse psychology. Little Women teaches us about the pitfalls of “the good life.” 

And this phrase about age as accumulated damage is one of the more stunning truths I’ve found. When my wife’s grandmother was dying, my mother-in-law commonly chalked it all up to her being in her 90s. That didn’t compute with me, because I have known several relatives in their mid-90s who were far more lucid, caring, and stable on their feet. 

While there are some aspects of aging that can’t be avoided, many of the more dreadful aspects are direct result of repeated choices we make and harm we do to ourselves. 

Dr. Kelly Starrett in the first pages of Becoming a Supple Leopard shows how the postures most of us adopt (shearing our bones because we’re lazy when we bend over and refuse to use muscles to help support our back when sitting and standing) cause massive damage and pain over time. A related plan to prevent and reverse this damage can be found here. 

There are many other examples, beyond the obvious ones like smoking and egregious diets.

If I’m starting to feel a bit stiffer in my 30s with increasing hearing, eye, and skin issues, it’s not that I’ve hit a magical number that generates more pain. I’ve damaged my spine through years of bad posture, weakened my body through lack of stretching and exercise, harmed my digestive system through eating too quickly and eating too much sugar, gotten too many sunburns, spent too much time with earbuds pumping sound into my ears, and stared at electronic screens for too long. 

The same could be said of the spiritual life. It’s not that old people are inherently out of touch and crotchety. But many of them walk in that direction for quite some years, and our society’s idolization of retirement and plethora of financial benefits for reaching a magical age encourage isolation and entitlement. 

“Age” is an excuse we use to dodge responsibility for the poor physical and mental choices we and others have made through the years. Look closer at most conditions and you’re bound to find self-inflicted damage sooner or later. If you’re young, stop digging the hole.